I need to tone it down a lot.

last night and this morning have been a minor travesty in the history of me. I went out with Megan and April to celebrate April's birthday, we went to that stupid Irish bar, and met up with some of the nasty boys with whom we've been, oh let's say...affiliated in the past. the US boy, who I haven't seen since that one night, which is kind of recorded here, was not out originally and I was bummed. but then we went to another bar and he showed up. this made me feel better, until I learned from April that US boy likes her. oh but of course. how did she find out? his friend told her. you know, that's just fine, US boy, you like my roommate, fine. you have a penis and you are a dickhead, apparently. but the fact that April then happily enjoyed this information and then openly flirted with US boy has got me feeling like the year's biggest fool. and it's also got me pissed off. and this is basically another classic example of my life. if there's one thing I really hate, it's being made to feel foolish, especially when it's in front of people about whom I really don't give a shit but around whom I'd still like to retain a shred of dignity.

oh fucky fuck fuck it doesn't matter worth balls but Jesus Christ, fucking April...this is just the the most recent behavior in a line of actions she's taken lately that are really making me not like her very much. and that is a Bad Thing.

so how did I address my feelings of foolishness and anger and whatever else? I drank more beer. lots more beer. and then I agreed to dance with some dumb-ass Irish boy, and then when I came back from the dance floor Megan informed me April had gone home alone because Megan had told her to in order to avoid any unsavory scenes. especially since April had expressed to us both that since it was her birthday she needed to get laid and was bound to do it at all costs. US boy was still sitting at the bar, next to Megan and her lad, and gosh I sure do hope a big scene about my feelings came up!

so what did I do after that? why, I turned to my dance partner and said, "do you want to go?" of course he said "yes," as this group of boys are happy to fuck whoever. so we got in a cab, rode back to my place, I puked several times next to the soon-to-be-opened bar under my apartment because I got carsick on the ride home (take that, workers who pound at 6am), my companion took a piss next to a car while I was voiding my stomach contents, we went into my apartment, I brushed my teeth, and then I basically let him do whatever he wanted with me. gosh, that's so healthy and so in my character! it was so pointless. not to mention I just really wanted to go to sleep after the first hour was up. but this young gentleman had some motherfucking stamina or cocaine for blood or something because 5 hours later, I still haven't really slept and I only just escorted him out the door. he returns to Ireland next week. that is good.

ugh. no more stupid sex is in my agenda book any longer.

of course, now it's going to be all weird once April wakes up and we have to play the stupid junior high game in which no one claims any blame but ohhhhhh whatever.

to make matters more fun, Friday night Jim tried to hook up with me and then stormed out of my apartment when I turned him down. also Friday night I went to a party with him and Megan and got bitten a few times by another drunk attendee. he just really likes biting, I guess. it was pretty funny at the time, but now I've got two more bruises on my arms in addition to the bruise on my wrist from my jaunt with W and Jim last weekend.

again: I need to tone it down.

I guess that's all for now. I think I'll go shower the stank off me.