right, I've had enough now of weird-ass people doing websearches on "dogfart" and being directed towards my journal. oh, and I'm like in the top 10 hits on all search engines for "crazy eyes killer" and "Curb Your Enthusiasm." then yesterday some ungodly German websurfer clicked through to my pages after searching for "babyfucker." hello world, I am here to let you down in the search for information!

huffy sigh...and....

last night April and I saw "The Ring," as planned, and since I am a big baby, I spent a healthy percentage of the movie with my hands over my eyes. during one particularly scary part at the end, I squealed once, loudly and quickly. despite all the scariness, that film left me with a lot of questions. like: did the bad girl have a camcorder? why were they dressed all Victorian when it was clearly stated that the bad girl went to the asylum in 1978? what was that creepy camp guy's role in the whole deal? I mean, hasn't he watched all the videos on his shelves? there are many more things for which I need answers, but I think I'll stop there. just one last thing: I truly hate the "wise beyond his/her years" child character that stupid contemporary Hollywood filmmakers have chosen to make a running theme in half of the new films today. nothing pisses me off more than the world-weary little kid who talks and acts like an adult. so, I'd like to address all the Hollywood filmmakers who read this journal for a moment: stop it with the kid crap. I hate it, and so should you.

today while getting dressed I decided to wear ivory-colored nylons. I haven't worn ivory-colored nylons since my early college years, probably, but I found one pair in my drawer and decided that the success of my outfit depended on them. then when I was pulling the nylons over my legs, I put a nail through the left half, just a bit, right above the side of knee. instead of changing my outfit or my nylons, I decided to do the old hairspray and clear nail polish trick and to ignore the hole. no one should be examining the side of my legs that closely anyway. then I came to the same conclusion again when I saw that my unshaven leg hair was visible through the ivory hose. I am so charming and polished.