today the topic of email was robot, our boss:

Me: KABOOM!!!

(that's the sound of me kicking the robot, hard.)

Amy: wouldn't bot be booby-trapped in some way? you know, with small explosives and spraying oil? i would think that bot goes to great lengths not to be touched.....

Me: haha, no. I would just run up to it, all crazy-hillbilly-like, and give it a good, solid kick. perhaps I would also be yelling. tough to say. although the oil slick would be a good Plan B.

Amy: crazy-hillbilly-like is key. and you must yell out things in french. bots only listen to those who speak french. maybe something like "semper fi" or "what's the frequency kenneth?" but in french.

you'll have to be fully covered in anti-bot gear and some sort of protective eye wear to deflect the lazer beams.

proceed with caution young grasshopper.

Me: don't worry. I will wear a helmet with a flip-down visor. also, I may be carrying a jousting sword. is that what those things are called? hey wait. do you have a horse? because a robot versus a rider would doubtless be a battle that would end in the rider's (my) favor.

Amy: i know people that could come up with a horse in less than 24 hours. my brother could have a horse, but i think it may be stuffed. i'll have to look into that.

i can't think of the jousting sword.....how about the "long sharp thingy?" me like that one. oh! don't forget a fire extinguisher. you never know when you'll need one of those in a bot battle.

Me: ok, wait. what do robots hate more than emotion? that's right, meat. so I'll charge at robot full-speed on a horse, carrying a long sharp thingy that has a gigantic slab of porterhouse steak on the end. then I'll bring the horse to a jarring halt and just poke at robot with the porterhouse until it falls over, or even better, short circuits. you will be on the sidelines pouring water in its circuitboard.

can we shake on this?

Amy: i'll bring the meat, water, and the horse. you bring the protective gear, carrots (for the horse and a late-afternoon snack for us) and the sharp thingy.

3 o'clock. Sunday. by the flag pole.