I can safely say that last night was a wild ride, and I can safely blame it all on tequilla.

Jim and April and I went to get some margaritas around 9pm last night. W met us at the place and I chatted with him for quite some time. after the second round of margaritas and second round of tequilla shots were finished at 10:30 or so, April announced she was going home and going to bed. so I looked at W, looked at Jim, put my arms around them, and said, "well boys, it's just you and me." after the bartender gave us a complimentary round of tequilla shots, we left.

the next stop was Estelle's, where we were early enough to get three seats at the bar. after a bathroom stop, I came back to find W had ordered me a Bass, so I happily drank it down. now I can't recall what we talked about at all, really, but I do know that at one point W ordered red wine with lime, and I obsessively kept him supplied with limes when the original one would fall off the glass, to the point where I'd yell "hey!" to the bartender, he'd yell "lime?" and I'd yell back, "YEAH!" also, I was helping other patrons make their orders once the bar got really crowded. I think the bartenders really loved me. also during our time at Estelle's, W switched to white wine and triple sec. and I'm pretty sure this was all done for comedy's sake. I was laughing, at least.

when my eyes started seeing double, I shakily stood up and made my way to the bathroom. I'm thinking I must've looked a sight. either that, or I was ravishingly beautiful because I got more than a few looks from boys and girls alike. happily, I only voided matter from my under end, and now that I think about it, I'd just like to take this moment to thank my body for keepin' it real last night and keepin' me from not puking all over the joint. after I got back from the bathroom, me and my two compadres left Estelle's and started down the street.

during our walk, which lasted from Estelle's to Starbucks, about 30 yards away, W said, "let's try to do a triple piggyback. Jim, you get on my back, and then..." all of a sudden, I found myself being lifted in the air, and then before you could say "tomfoolery" I was on W's shoulders. and W proceeded to traverse a full city block with me on his shoulders, shrieking, laughing hysterically, and grabbing for every sign post and parked semi-truck side mirror in sight. Jim took up the rear, supporting me lightly so if I were to fall, he could maybe catch me, maybe let me continue to fall.

let me just say that this feat of strength was absolutely amazing. as stated in previous entries, I am not tiny. I'm more of a venti-sized girl. but not grande. just venti. or do I mean tall? whatever--normal. and W is probably equal my height. he's just incredibly, horrifyingly strong. and we'll just leave it at that. incroyable!

after I came down from W's shoulders, breathless with wonder, Jim decided he'd try to give me a ride as well. only he's much less powerful than W, so that resulted in him falling, me falling on him, and me laughing hysterically. after a few more tries, we reversed walking direction and briefly befriended a homeless man. since W and Jim and I were linking arms (me in the middle, of course), he took us for a jovial bunch, and after we gave him some change W offered up an arm and we skipped down the street with him for a while, singing "Skip to My Lu." and then after the skipping, the man told us two jokes. one was funny and made sense, the other one went like this:

Man: I am shit, or I am not shit?
Me: I am not shit!
Man: hahahahahahahaha!

and then:

Me: (waving and starting to walk away) ok, bye!!!
Man: you two boys take care of her, she's a sweetheart!
Me: I'm a sweetheart!!!

since hunger was in our stomachs, the boys and I then proceeded to Hollywood Grill. when the waitress approached our table, Jim ordered a burrito grande, I ordered a BLT, no mayo, and W slowly spit out a menu of turkey sandwich, Raisin Bran, melon, and cottage cheese, prompted by Jim, who evidently knows W's diner tastes. the waitress stopped W, asked him to repeat what he wanted, and left the table after "a turkey sandwich, and Raisin Bran..."

we got our food, and I decided to call Stacey. that's how I know it was 3:30am at this point. because I looked at my phone's clock, said, "oh, it's 4:30 in New York!" and then left a message.

I pronouced my BLT to be the best fucking BLT I'd ever had in my life. W looked at me, and asked, "would you like some ice cream next?" I looked deep into his eyes, and with all seriousness, said, "yes. I would love some ice cream."

we all finished eating, I paid for the meal since W and Jim had paid for all my drinking, and we then went to the Melrose Diner for ice cream. because staying at the Hollywood Grill for the second course just didn't seem right. on the way up to Melrose, W announced we should do this every weekend, and that next weekend we should drive down to Southern Illinois University, smoke some pot before the drive, dress in Halloween costumes, and go to a party. I immediately agreed, keeping my reservations about driving while high silent for the moment. plans for this have not been solidified since the concept arose last night, but I feel safe in saying it might happen.

we sat ourselves at the Melrose, and I ordered a single scoop of vanilla ice cream. Jim had said he wasn't getting anything to eat. W ordered a piece of blueberry pie with ice cream and then stated, pointing to Jim, "and this young man will have a banana split." the waitress wrote it down, I burst out laughing since things like that are funny when you're drunk, and W repeated, "that young gentleman will have a banana split," in the tone of a gentle grandfather.

when the desserts came to the table, Jim left his banana split untouched. W and I tried everything to get him to take just one little bite, but he refused, just like a big baby. then I asked if I took a bite, would he too? Jim agreed, filled a spoon with a huge slop of ice cream, whipped cream, and that jelly-like topping, shoved it in my mouth and then kind of spread it along the side of my face and also got it on my clothes. of course. these are things you do when you are drunk. I calmly wiped myself down, finished my ice cream, and then we all left the Melrose.

I think it was Jim's idea to go to the beach. yep, that's right. so we collected W's car, which had been parked nearby the whole night, and drove to Melrose Beach. after parking, we walked along the lake for a while, and decided to walk along this weird pier-like structure that I guess acts as a swimming barrier or something? it has a warning light tower on it. if you go to Melrose Beach ever, you'll see what I mean.

it was really great. from the sand, looking towards the water, all I could see was dark blue and olive-colored horizon. looking towards the city, all I could see was grassy ridge blocking the view of all but the tallest buildings.

walking along the pier thing, we encountered a racoon. an honest-to-God raccoon. and then there was another one. they'd run towards us for a half second, then turn and run away, bodies wobbling, until a certain point where they'd crawl over the edge of the pier and disappear into a mystery hole. I can't express how surreal this was, raccoons living on piers in the middle of Chicago.

the original plan was to watch the sun rise, but when it got to be 6:15, we decided it was best to just try to find the car. this took a good 20 minutes, as the street where we parked is slightly hilly, in a way that prevents a person from being able to see what's over the slight hill. we got in the car after we found it, and W drove me home. I think my head hit the pillow around 7am. and I awoke around noon, thanks to the poundings from the builders working in the space under my bedroom.

so that was my night last night. it was more fun than I've had in months, maybe even years. and I let W and Jim know that often. it was just me and the boys.