whoooo doggie I sure haven't done any work today! all the higher-ups and all the middle-agers (save one) are gone from the office for a conference, leaving ME as the person with the longest tenure here. despite the horror that struck in my belly when it was announced to me, I am enjoying this position immensely.

when I sauntered in to my cubicle today, I announced that to my 6 peons that it was a day to get muffins and coffee from the cafeteria on the budget. because I am just that kind of leader. free food = happiness. so my tribe and I went down to handpick the breakfast pasteries and beverages of our choice, I brandished a pen, and laughed magnaminously as I entered the budget number to be charged.

I have also decreed that two-hour lunches, or, "the 120," as a former co-worker and I dubbed it, are hereby instated until all the squares return on Monday. during my 120 today, I plan to stock up on the expensive makeup I've recently run out of. for that I thank my dear grandparents.

finally, all workers under my rule will be permitted to come and go as they wish. 2:30 quitting time? why, that sounds about right. come in at 10 tomorrow? by all means, be my guest. surf the Internet all day? I would be flattered if you would follow my example thusly.

I am a super-dooper-visor! these two days will be fondly remembered by all twenty-somethings in my office as The Reign Of Leisure and my status in this building will balloon to legendary heights, now and forever more!!!