so I saw MHD again last night and although we didn't have as much talky time, things were promising. he told me he'd be going Wednesday night to the bar we were in last night, although now I realize that's Christmas Day and are bars usually open on that night? dunno. we'll see. he held my hand for a while while we were talking and then when he went to leave, I was sitting down and he was standing and he kind of hugged me from behind and above and kissed my head. so I don't really know what all that means, but...I dunno. I guess I'll see him tomorrow night? it's weird. I'm not in as much of a happy-sad love haze as I was on Sunday, so that's good. just...whatever. this is just another instance that is typical of my life; in this instance something really tantalizing is being waved in front of my nose and will soon whisked away to California.

JP is really sick, which sucks balls. he thinks he might have pneumonia. merry Christmas for him indeed. he can't go to Stacey's house tonight for her parents' annual Christmas Eve party. unfortunate.

my mom's spent all day baking cookies and it smells so nice and warm in here right now. we're having bucketloads of food after church tonight and then I'll leave to go over to S's house, which is a nice long drive through lots of country.

it's so funny, whenever I come home I'm always constantly reminded that I'm in Pennsylvania in subtle ways. like, the bars are half filled with neatly-dressed people, and the other half filled with long-haired/ponytailed, bearded men wearing Carhart jackets, jeans, and work boots. there are big pickup trucks a-plenty, some with gun racks in the rear window, and some with bumper stickers that read things like "My President is Charlton Heston." also, lots more roadkill. I had to stop short on one of the main roads Friday night to avoid running over a poor little deer that had been obliterated not long before. the worst was that since I was in the left lane of the two-lane road heading in one direction, I had to roll over the little animal's leg to get around it. there was no other way. yucky and sad.

and that's all I have to say for now. I'm about to get ready for church and then get ready to eat LOTS AND LOTS OF FOOD!