I! LOVE! ME! FRIENDS!

last night W and Stacey were reunited and it was very sweet and I really like W a lot. I've always been mystified by him--he's very silent, very pensive, very talented as both a musician and an artist, and has a very dry, smart sense of humor. before I began to know him better, I found it difficult to have a conversation with him as he's the type who doesn't speak without first being spoken to. but watching him interact with Stacey and subsequently me and my friends has given me a new appreciation of his personality and I'm looking forward to hanging out with him after Stacey leaves. and that's W.

after bliss-inducing sushi at Kamehachi, W drove Stacey and me to pick up Kelly at the airport. after hugging lots and jumping for joy, W drove us homewards on 94. we got off at the Fullerton exit and I announced that we should just go straight to Liar's Club instead of going home first. we had planned to go there after everyone was dressed and ready anyway, so we called James P and April to meet us there after they met up with Jim. I'd invited Jim along because it would be extremely rude not to include him on the activities of this weekend, even though I still wasn't ready to hang out with him again.

Jim, James and April met us about a beer and two shots after we'd begun at the bar and I was happily surrounded by my favorite non-blood-related people alive. I was cordial to Jim but didn't really talk to him at all. me, the girls, and James moved to the dance floor after a certain point and it was like pure joy being expressed in funky get-downs. we got sweaty dancing to New Order and then walked back to the bar for a breather and for more chit-chat. they play some damn fine tunes at that joint and for that, I salute the DJ. at closing time we decided to go to Nick's since it was closer to home than Estelle's. so Jim, James and April got in a cab and W, Stace and I headed for W's car.

side note: a lot of drunken hilarity can come from hollering across Fullerton at Stacey after she refuses to run across the street as the crossing light is changing.

by the time we found parking and got in the door at Nick's, James was so drunk he was having difficulties standing. the boy just don't know when to quit. so W, Stacey, James and April went home and Kelly and I stayed with Jim to hang out for no real reason at all. Kel and I went to the bar to get another beer and struck up a stupid conversation with some Irishman.

during a pause, Jim sat down on a stool next to where we were standing and casually mentioned he was surprised I called him to go out since I'd been turning him down left and right for the past few weeks. this developed into the discourse I'd been waiting for, in which I notified him he'd treated me like shit, made me feel like a piece of garbage, and made me feel like a whore. I wasn't angry explaining my side of the story to him, and he was receptive and (to my pleasure) horrified and ashamed at his own actions after I spelled it out to him. he kept saying over and over again, "I'm an asshole. I'm an asshole," to which I nodded. he apologized after I prompted him to do so, and I continued to tell him that he needs to work on consideration when dealing with other human beings. after about 20 minutes of this intense conversation, including explanation that I wanted to remain his friend, I gave him a conciliatory hug and the bartenders announced it was closing time.

I learned later from Kelly that despite my efforts to the contrary, I was being very loud while saying all those things to Jim and that it basically looked like I was yelling at him. which I was, in a way. I guess that's also why it seemed I was getting a lot of stares at the time. but oh well. I needed to make my point and that was the best way to do it. also, the expression on Jim's face was very satisfying. I can only explain it as a mixture of shame, stupefication, and self-hatred. if only I'd had a cigarette to draw on and smoke to exhale after I was done.

so that was the bulk of last night. in the cab on the way home, Jim rested his hand on my knee, confusingly.

this morning Stacey returned from her hotel sex with W and we all ate donuts and cinnamon rolls they'd brought us from the grocery store. then we ridiculed James P for his weirdness, which is legendary. afterwards, Stace and I picked up some lunch, rented some movies, and we've all been sitting around the couch and floor like happy, lazy bumps on logs ever since.

tonight it's Mexican dinner and I GET PRESENTS!!! hurrah!! Stace, Kel, and James P have each been talking up my presents for weeks and I can't wait to unleash them.

cheers to me.