the overall title of this weekend was, for me, "oh gosh, my roommate is a whore," or, "how young women play out their issues with men," or, "I am constantly the third wheel."

Friday night we went to our upstairs neighbors' party, which was actually a lot of fun. mostly because people talked to us, which I might say is something I found to be a nice surprise when I moved to the midwest. it was an 80s-themed party and I managed to put together a pretty authentic outfit with items I already owned: black, open-knit sweater with a tank top underneath, short, red skirt, black tights cut off at mid-calf (oh yes), and black ankle boots. I also wore my hair in a wide headband. the compliments were many.

anyway, April and I both had a really good time and then, towards the end of the night when about 10 people were left, one of the male guests we'd been talking to asked April to dance. what followed was a slightly embarassing display of near ass-baring twirls and dirty hip shaking/grinding. I left the party about 20 minutes afterwards, mostly because everyone else was too drunk by that point to carry on conversation and partly because my wing-man (lady) was now occupied. I'm not very skilled in situations like that.

to make this story shorter, I heard April come in the apartment with the dance partner and the next morning, April proudly anounced she'd "finally made out on our couch!" that had seriously troubled her for some time, perplexingly enough. also, there was oral sex.

last night April and Megan and I went out all together. the first two bars we patronized were a big bust, and then we made our way to a good place (for real) with a good jukebox on Clark. one of April's ex-coworkers, who she and Megan both fancy, was sitting by the door when we entered. we started talking to him and had some beers, and then his Irish friend joined the conversation. also, some guys were taking digital photos of random people in the bar. this is when the night got really confusing for me.

I was sitting at the bar alongside my friends, watching them talk to the drunk Irishman and his bald friend, when the drunkest man in the bar came up and tapped me on the shoulder. he slurred the following phrases to me at least three times each: "hafffn' nuh goo nyy?" "thisss burrr's grrrate, huuh?" "howww sit goinnn?"

then the guy with the camera came up to me and told me to smile. I gave him a smart-ass smile, he took my photo, stared at it, then said, "wow. that's a great picture. wow. you're a really pretty girl. huh." I, confused, said, "oh, well, yes, thank you." then he showed me his left hand and said, "don't worry, I'm married, I'm not a threat." I, even more confused, replied, "oh ok, that's fine, thanks!"

right about then the Irishman's bald friend approached me and asked me three different times throughout our stupid conversation where I lived. then the bartender gave me a free shot.

then the guy with the camera came back. he pulled a pack of Merit Ultra Lights out of his pocket and I asked, "you smoke Merit Ultra Lights?" he replied in the affirmative and I said in a smarmy voice, "are those your cigarette of choice or did you just get those for tonight?" (I am polite) he was confused about what I meant and said he smoked them regularly. I then said, "ok, just checking."

just then the camera guy announced he was going to take a picture of my breasts as a rebuttal for my insult to his choice of smoke, so I put up my middle finger and he pressed the shutter release. after examining his photo of my chest, he said, "wow, you've got big nipples, huh, kid?" stupefied both by the nipples comment and moreover, the use of "kid," I replied, "hm. yeah, I suppose so. who knows? so where's your wife tonight?" he answered that she'd left four hours prior. I'm still unclear as to how he evaluated my nipple size, seeing as I was fully clothed at all times. odd.

not too much longer after that happened, the bar closed and it was announced we were all (me, Meg, April, the ex-coworker, the Irishman, the bald friend, two other guys) going to Carol's. Carol's, where I seem to always get myself into trouble.

once inside Carol's I chatted with the Irishman until April literally shoved her way between us and blocked me out (because I am such a threat). then I went to the bathroom and on my way back saw all my companions heading for the dance floor. stupidly, I followed and uselessly stood talking to the bald man, who chose to just shake his hips to the country music band. I went back to the bar and answered the bald man's "where do you live?" question a few more times. then my ladyfriends and their male companions returned to the bar and I, in a not-having-anyone-lucid-to-talk-to panic, told a guy in a cowboy hat I liked his hat.

for the next hour I chatted with this guy, keeping one eye on my drunk roommate (and overhearing her ask the Irishman if he was "looking for a relationship") and Megan (closely in conversation with the ex-coworker). the hat guy asked me to dance, so I did and once on the dance floor was horrified to feel a boner poking through his jeans. I backed away a bit and finished the song, but was unable to make eye contact with his broadly grinning face. "you're fun!" he announced to me. uuurrrgh.

back at the bar, the hat guy asked me why I didn't have a boyfriend (how I loathe this question) and then introduced me to a girl he used to date, who then kept coming around the rest of the night.

I swear to God, all I wanted was someone to talk to.

then the hat guy asked for my number and offered me a ride home. I accepted the ride (hey, free ride, right?) and gave out my number as a consolation (I am stupid) because I knew this fellow wasn't going to even come close to touching anything on my body. so he took me home, I kissed him quickly on the cheek, yelled "thanksfortheridebye!" behind me, and skedaddled in my apartment door. in all fairness, the guy was really very nice. just a little too dorky and boring.

10 minutes after I returned home, April, Megan, the ex-coworker, and the Irishman came in the door. I went out in my pajamas to chat for a bit and watched April nearly sit on top of the Irishman, who'd by this point chosen to lay his head back on the couch with his eyes closed. April'd kiss him on the face every so often and he'd continue to sit completely still. after about 10 minutes I announced I was going to bed. I went into my bedroom, inserted my earplugs, and drifted off to dreamland.

when I woke up this morning I heard four voices talking in the living room and decided to call Stacey so we could bitch about things in general. sometimes it's nice to do that. around 12:30 April knocked on my door to tell me we were all going out to lunch, despite my protests that I smelled too foul to be out in public without a shower.

when I came out into the living room I saw a spread-out sleeping bag and makeshift pillows laying on the floor in front of the television. Megan, the ex-coworker, and April sat there, pleased as punch. the Irishman had taken off for some reason, but not before he and April had rogered each other hard enough to make the books fall off her headboard shelves, so I'm told. I am exceedingly happy I had in the earplugs while that was going on.

so, to wrap this up, I went to lunch with the three people left from last night's adventures and then sat around the living room watching TV and feeling weirded-out by my roommate's whorishness.

honestly, I know I've been guilty of the same activity, but it's never been to quite the same degree and it's never been more than one guy a weekend. in fact, since I've lived in Chicago (2 1/2 years now), it's only been 5 guys total I've had any activity whatsoever with, and only two of those involved the old in-out-in-out.

anyway, I don't need to justify why I'm disturbed by April's constant desire to have male approval and attention. I am disturbed, and it's always been that way. the shameless forcing of herself onto random, uncaring guys is hard to watch and accept. end of story.

it's like, sometimes I really hate people and I am really unnecessarily anti-social/insecure but am conflicted as to how to resolve that. normally the resolution involves me being an asshole. for better or for worse. also, I've just been kind of unhappy in general lately. yeah.

I think I'll stop now. long.