I talked to Stacey on the phone for over 2 hours last night. we haven't talked in over two months, I think, which is horrible. she told me some really great stories about her grandpa, who they call "Dad." Dad's wife was in the hospital for a while before she recently passed away. sometime before the funeral, Dad was talking to Stacey on the phone and told her that whenever he'd go in to visit his wife, the nurses would all say, "Hey there, Smokehouse." Stacey asked him why "Smokehouse," and he replied, "Hanging meat." naturally, Stacey was repulsed, so much so that she yelled, "Dad, you're a perv," to which Dad retorted, "Takes one to know one!"

one other Dad story happened while they were in an airport, getting ready to fly into Kentucky for his wife's funeral. going through the metal detector, Dad set it off like fireworks. he was wearing a metal belt buckle, was carrying a Zippo lighter, and God knows what else. when the security guy asked him to empty his pockets, Dad pulled out a large handful of strawberry candies. the security guard looked at this, looked at Dad and asked, "Are you Mr. Wonka?" Dad looked him in the eye and replied, "If you're good I'll give you one."

when Stacey and her family were driving around Peducah , KY, where Dad and his wife grew up and resided for much of their lives, Dad blurted out for no reason, "I was still born." everyone in the car exclaimed "HUH?" and Dad continued, "I was a stillborn. I was born still, and the nurses performed mouth-to-mouth on me and I lived. I was still born."

after that week with Dad, Stacey is convinced he's about to go insane.