this afternoon at work I decided to have one of those Life Savers Creme Savers because I love candy. after about 15 seconds of having the candy in my mouth, the delicious bastard slipped into the back of my throat beyond the point of my being able to naturally cough it back up. so, in slight panic mode, I began the process of swallowing the slippery thing whole. this involved me, stumbling in shock around the printer, struggling to relax my spasmastic throat muscles and gasping at how painful a hard candy can be. I thought, "oh my God, will my death be brought about next to the printer at work by a fucking Creme Saver?" but then I felt the Creme Saver shift past the point of pain and immediately wiped the tears from my eyes (you know how you start automatically tearing up when you choke) and chugged about a half liter of water to help speed the Creme Saver to my stomach. the strangest part was that I could feel the lump of candy slowly making its way down my esophagus until it got to about, well, breast level. it was not a pleasant sensation. anyway, apart from what feels like a bruised throat, I'm fine. but what the fuck? since when is candy dangerous to me? I certainly hope that never happens again. watch out for hard candy, kids.