my sister Adrienne called me at work today but I didn't get a chance to call her back until the bus ride home. she sounded happy, very peppy, so much so that I almost asked why she was so happy. we just chatted about what we'd been up to and then she said she had to go, so I hung up. I got home, got some dinner, and was about to start finishing cleaning since my mom's coming tomorrow when the phone rang and it was Adrienne, sobbing hysterically. she told me to call her back on her home phone number, so I did. and she told me she was pregnant. I said, "ok..." and asked how it could have happened and what she was going to do. she said it was because of Greg, the piece of trash who got her addicted to crack, but who she loves for some fucked-up reason. they've been living together since they both stopped the crack together. she said she's known she was pregnant for about a week but has suspected it for a few weeks now. she then told me that Greg is angry and is convinced it's not his baby because she brought some guy home one night when he was out of town and when they were having a fight, and despite the fact that nothing happened, he found a condom wrapper and doesn't believe any of Adrienne's explanations. Adrienne then said she can't have an abortion because she couldn't go through one again (she had one in college too). she said she'd rather die than kill another baby and that's when I pretty much lost it. I just felt this gigantic ball of rage well up in me for how much bullshit Greg has put her through and my first response was to start screaming and I ended up balled up on my bed wracked in tears and hysterics and yelling about how much I hated Greg and that he's now ruined her life twice. Adrienne begged me not to cry, and for the next hour I told her there was no way she could have the baby, that she needs to get the fuck away from Greg, cut him out of her life, move back home, and just start all over again. it was like talking to a brick wall--she said she loved Greg and that she didn't want to be alone and that she can't explain it but she wants the baby and although I offered a counter argument to each of these reasons she held fast to her opposition to aborting the fetus. I started yelling that the baby right now is nobody, demanding why she loved Greg so much when he's fucked up her life so much, etc., ad nauseum until I got to the point where I told her that I couldn't offer her any more advice apart from what I'd already told her and that she needed to call my parents and tell them because she's not my daughter. so she called my mom, who's in Cincinnati at my grandparents' house, and told her. then she called me to tell me she told my mom and that my mom didn't yell or anything and that she talked to Greg and told him he needs to help out Adrienne for now until some decisions are made. I mean, I know my sister's an adult (technically) and that she has free will and the option to make independent decisions, but her relationship with Greg is so totally and utterly codependent and unhealthy that spelling out to her that only if he were beating her would the relationship be worse (as I did) didn't even phase her. I talked to my mom a bit after that. she, incredibly enough, agrees that the pregnancy should be terminated, which is a bit stunning considering my mom is one of the most conservative-minded people I know. she was obviously shell-shocked when I first talked to her, she didn't even seem that upset, and she started talking about where she went wrong and what other people would think. she wasn't even going to tell my grandma or my dad what was going on. she didn't think my grandma needed something else to worry about and she was worried that my dad would completely lose his shit and that it would affect the drive to Maryland he's supposed to make tomorrow. I convinced my mom that she couldn't just keep it inside there, all by herself, because for the first hour or two after I got off the phone with Adrienne I was a complete mess. I talked to Stacey for a while, in tears the whole time, and that helped, and I knew my mom would just be going nuts not saying anything. so after a while I got off the phone with her and then about a half hour later Adrienne called to say that she hasn't made a final decision, that she couldn't promise she'd make the decision I want her to make (ie, terminate the pregnancy), but that she would look into all the options. this made me feel a bit better. I made her promise to go to Planned Parenthood, where I knew they could give her objective advice, and then I told her to call me if she needed to talk, whenever. about an hour after that my dad called and asked if I was ok. I said I was and he said, "but you're not really, are you?" my mom had called him after all and so we talked about the whole thing for a while. he's much harder with his emotions right now than I expected; not raving mad, but angry. he said that he also thought Adrienne should terminate the pregnancy, or, alternately, give the child up for adoption if she decided to go through with the pregnancy. he told me he stopped having emotions about her a long time ago, which was hard for me to hear, but knowing Adrienne's history, isn't incredibly out of the question. he said he would support her when necessary and we talked about all the fuck-ups Adrienne's gone through and we discussed how nothing she does makes sense. I said that was the hard part about unconditional love and my dad said that his love for Adrienne stopped being unconditional a while ago; his love for her comes with conditions now. this whole situation is so fucked up I can hardly stand it and I can honestly say I don't know when the last time was I've cried so much. it's just like this huge atomic bombshell all of a sudden, out of nowhere, and now I'm truly looking forward to having the surgery on Thursday just so I can be out of it on painkillers for a while. I told my mom half-jokingly I would give her any extra painkillers I had. anyway, she'll be coming to town tomorrow and I think that will now be good for a variety of reasons. my dad's determined to have a good weekend during his visit here no matter what and I hope my mom can maybe take her mind off things for a little bit while she's here, but goddamn this is like the most fucked up shit I've had to deal with in a long time. crack addiction is one thing, but this is an entirely different ball game, potentially. and I really wish Adrienne would stop dropping the bombshells on me before she called my parents every fucking time something of this magnitude happens. I feel a lot better now than I did about four hours ago, but man. it's just so fucked up. I just don't know what to do and I don't know what to think.