work. so bad! but there's always time for email humor...

me: why doesn't moo eyes ever shut up? why doesn't he not put in his annoying two bits for a change? it's difficult.

Amy: why does he feel that we care? blah blah blah. is it really that rude to tell someone to shut their cakehole?

me: not in this case. it's insufferable. I find myself not even being able to look him in the eyes I can't stand it so much. I'm afraid my face will betray my true feelings. and how about pink lady asking Faith why she was eating a salad in front of everyone? rude much?

Amy: i'm an open book on this one. it's hard to hide the fact that i am plotting ways to escape his conversation. i need to follow Dan's [her brother's] philosophy: when you don't want to be around/talk to someone, just vomit. works everytime.

me: I am adopting that new philosophy pronto. does it count if it's just a vomity sound?

Amy: yes. dry heaves, gagging, all fall under the realm of vomiting. whatever you can do to drive the other person away--the more sound the better. the philosophy used to be crying. but then he found people sometimes laughed. this was counter-productive.

me: your brother posesses wisdom that I can use in my everyday life. I would like to subscribe to his newsletter.

Amy: if he could spell, he would publish one. Dan and Kevin [his friend/roommate] manage their apartment building. sometimes, in the middle of the night, people will knock on their door to fix something. this is where the philosophy of vomit comes in handy. because as Dan says, "i just threw up on myself. who's got the bigger problem here?" ahhh, that one always makes me laugh.

that girl saves my day sometimes. I'm so so exhausted today. my four hours of sleep were interrupted at 4am by April, who came home and woke me up to tell me what happened after the wig party last night. she was very upset, and I truly sympathized, but a small part of me was thinking, "get the fuck out of my room."

alright. clown time is over. good lord I hate work. some lovely Wilco will make it better.

sounds like my boss is getting reamed over the phone. nice.