I keep having really weird dreams lately. they could be attributed to my upcoming bleeding time, but usually the weirdest ones don't happen until the time is in progress. at any rate, my dream dictionary keeps translating these dreams into similar meanings, all pointing towards injury or harm or loss. I'm kind of disturbed by this, but then I'm also kind of ignoring it because what does Zolar know about me really? weirdest of all is that my dream last night involved a diaryland person and, well, that's never happened before and I don't know why it should start now! what are you trying to tell me, subconscious??

I haven't done much of anything this weekend so I'm feeling extremely restless tonight. Friday night before dinner I ran out to get two movies to watch this weekend (Metroland and Whale Rider) and a bottle of wine to help me pass the evening hours. Friday I watched Metroland, which wasn't mindblowingly outstanding but likeable all the same. also, Christian Bale's penis makes an appearance. I went out on the patio down here after it was over and sneaked a cigarette smoke since red wine + cigarettes are a personal favorite combination.

all I did yesterday was to go grocery shopping in the morning and to hang around the house the rest of the day. my gma went to the birthday party of one of my cousins and I stayed home to supervise the caretaker for my gpa. in December my gpa took a bad fall in the middle of the night, scraping a large patch of skin off his arm in the process of his fall, while this particular caretaker was on duty and my gma has never fully trusted her since. so I had to stay home and keep my ears open. I fixed my gpa lunch and watched as he ate it slowly and carefully, handing him his glass or his fork when he seemed to be losing track of what he had just been doing. afterwards I cleaned the kitchen and then came back downstairs to watch television and lay about.

when my gma came back from the birthday party, she gave me money to run out and get dinner, which I did. she and my gpa and I ate dinner, and then I retired to the downstairs once again to watch Whale Rider (I enjoyed it very much), finish my bottle of wine, and sneak another cigarette on the patio. it's nice going outside at night here, and the patio on this lower level is mostly secluded. so I can smoke in secrecy while looking up at stars or across the large yard at the neighbor's house, ears picking up any stray noise that might signal the approach of any person who might discover me.

today was more lazing around split up by a drive to return the videos and to make a brisk pass inside a clothing store. tonight I made dinner for my gparents--poached salmon with yellow peppers, tomatoes, and red onions in a vinaigrette and asparagus with a light Dijon mustard sauce. very tasty.

really that's all I've done this weekend. it's always hard for me to readjust to life here after going out of town to visit friends--I become accustomed to doing stuff with others at night while I'm away, and then I come back here faced with just me and a couch whenever Erin's unavailable to play. but it's fine.

oh, also, on Friday morning I had an interview with my #1 grad school choice (or, if you work with me, I had a long doctor's appointment). it went well for the most part, I think. I've learned from all my experience that art historians like to hear themselves talk, and this was certainly the case with the program director I interviewed with on Friday. so really all I had to do was to give a brief answer to his questions and he would then say something like, "AH, yes!" and begin a monologue on the subject of whatever I'd said. these types of interviews are easiest of all, but also hardest to read. anyway, if I get into that school I'll be elated. I'll know the answer in early March. but like I've said before, I'm kind of blas� on whether I get into school now. it's probably just me telling myself I'm blas� at this point, but in the larger scheme of things, if I don't get it anywhere (unlikely, I should hope), then it's kind of like a free pass to start all over...not that I have any idea what that could involve, but...gah...I'm just going to leave it at that.

tomorrow is Monday. gee wiz. here's hoping no negative portentious dreams invade my noggin tonight.