oh my I've been cooking for over 6 hours today and it's been an oddly satisfying and not annoying experience. I thought for sure I'd get winded after the first dish, but not so. so that's nice. only one bad thing: I cut my thumb with a Cuisinart blade and then promptly got lemon juice in the cut, which was just typical me.

last night April came home with cigarettes, what a pal. so we went to a neighborhood bar and had a beer and a smoke. it was nice.

today in the mail April and I got a letter from John. I'd been expecting it, actually. in it, he apologized for the party thing and then complained that we shut him out unfairly. he wants to be friends again but I just don't see how that is possible. at the end of the letter, after he explained his side of things, he wrote small notes to each of us. in April's, he brought up some pretty heavy stuff that no one talks about, and then in mine he told me he didn't like me when he first met me. then he said after we stopped talking to him, he was ready to write me off as the bitch he knew I was, but he knew better. somehow his calling me a bitch doesn't really endear him to me. I've actually never been called a bitch before and it made me laugh--no, wait, one of the kids I nannied for called me a bitch. he was nine. John is almost 28.

enough for now. back to work.