so very tired.

yesterday morning I got up, went into the bathroom, and got ready for my shower. my bathroom is set up so when you enter, the sink and mirror are directly in front, and then to the left are the toilet and tub. there's a sliding door that separates the two areas, which is really nice for when I want to take a shower but April has to use the mirror or vice versa. so I went in to the tub/toilet part, shut the sliding door, and took my shower. I forgot to turn on the ventilation fan, so by the time I was done it was pretty warm in there. the bathroom has been really warm in general lately because the builders have turned on the heat in the space below us and it radiates up, especially through the bathroom floor. anyway, I dried off, got out of the shower, put on my bathrobe and went to slide open the door, but it was stuck. I couldn't get it open for the life of me, and the crack of space between the edge of the door and the wall was too small to even fit my fingers in. so I started to have a mild panic because it was stiflingly hot in that small windowless space. I screamed April's name a few times until she came and we both worked at the door until she tried it from the bottom and got it open. I haven't had a near-panic attack like that in a long time. I was completely terrified. if it hadn't been so hot in there it might not have been as bad, but I was *thisclose* to tears when April ran to the bathroom. if she hadn't been home, it would not have been a fun time for me. so now I'm super-paranoid about that damned door and will always leave at least a finger's worth of space between it and the wall.

last night I went to see Citizen Bird and The Soundtrack of Our Lives at Metro. it was a good rockin' show. we moved to the center front of the crowd before TSOOL came on and these over-enthusiastic people behind me were yelling non-stop in that weird kind of "halalalalalaLAA-OW!" call that sounds like the stereotypical Middle Eastern rebel call. it was pretty annoying, so in a fleeting moment of silence I shouted out "BOO-YAH!" to be obnoxious and then laughed at myself. fortunately others around me found it funny as well. sometimes I can please a crowd.

the rocker boyfriend was there again last night and for some reason now we're best friends, apparently. when I first got there, he pounced on me and started spouting off about how good TSOOL were live and then rapid-fired a list of other bands, telling me how good they were too. I mean, I like music a lot and all, but he would not let me get a word in edgewise. and then all my ladyfriends went to the bathroom and I was left alone with him, repeatedly saying, "uh huh," "oh really?" "hmmm," "huh-interesting," and other affirming phrases. he likey the talkie, but he no likey the listen. annoying.

anyway, TSOOL were effin' good live, better than I imagined. and I really really really enjoyed the mammoth lead singer's choice of clothing. he had on this long, black tunic with a thick, patterned orange, green, and cream cravat tied around his neck. kind of like a really butch, really large, really hairy, and really drunk Charles Nelson Reilly. I can't decide if the best part was when he lifted up his tunic and smacked his large belly, just once, or at the end of the show, when he removed his tunic entirely and left the stage bare-chested. suffice to say it was a good time. and I saw the high school boy, which was nice. he was drunk, which calms my fears that he was straight-edge. I like the drinkers.

even though I had told April I wasn't drinking at that show, when we entered the Metro I realized that beer would have to be my friend that night. especially when rocker boyfriend started yammering. so I had 5 beers total, smoked too many cigarettes (ie, more than zero), went to bed and had a very weird yet hilarious dream (one aspect of which involved a farm animal peeing in my face) and when I woke up this morning I knew that I truly must enjoy the punishment of working hungover and exhausted in some sick way. because otherwise, why would I do this to me? I am so sweet to myself, yet I can't let me live without some pain and torture. such is me.

also yesterday I almost bit it when I tripped on a crack in the sidewalk. this was after a really fun appointment at the gynecologist. ain't nothin' like being kicked when you're down.

having a few stomach troubles this AM...they best get away. I have one more concert tonight to attend and then it's low-down weekend on the way. I hope.