I did a lot of damage to my body this past week. and it all involves me being stupid. ahh, refreshing.

the first damage happened on Tuesday night. the weekend prior I'd gone home to see my family and to see Stacey and James P, who were home at the same time. it was really nice and after only 5 days home I found myself feeling supremely homesick once getting back to Chicago. while I'd been away, my trusty roommate had done what we'd been hoping to do for a while and had scored some pot.

I, being a semi-responsible 25-year-old lady, had been jonesing for pot for a long time because, I dunno, it can be fun. so when April got wind that one of her coworkers had a boyfriend who sold his own homegrown, we pounced. April called me while I was out of town to tell me that the score had been made and we giggled excitedly. she showed me the bag of grass when I got home Monday night and it was indeed impressive.

so last Tuesday I went back to work, downhearted that I didn't have more time to spend with my family in the nice, un-humid Pennsylvania weather. at some point that day April called me to tell me she had decided to make pot brownies. I agreed that this was a fantastic idea, prompted her to look up recipes on the Internet, and finished my work day thinking about how funny it was going to be to eat pot brownies.

when I got home from work, the brownies were in the oven and April was making dinner for both of us. she told me she'd licked the bowl after putting the brownie batter in the oven, so I knew things were going to get interesting anytime soon. we sat down to eat dinner and halfway through the meal April forced me to eat my first brownie. so I did it and finished my meal. around that time April started getting silly and I couldn't wait till my hahas started.

about a half hour later April suggested we have some ice cream and more brownie. so I cut a much smaller piece for me and a regular sized piece for April and we chowed down. and then we sat on the couch to wait for the magic to begin. I remember we were watching Dog Eat Dog when my brownies started to kick in. I was completely hysterical over April's commentary on the show--like when a female competitor was having difficulty doing a stunt over and over again and April yelled "OHHH, it's so heartbreaking!"

and then about a half hour later I found myself hyperventilating. this is when the bad stuff started. I was hyperventilating and my heart was beating wildly and I began to freak out. sometimes when I smoke pot I have this thing where I'll breathe so shallowly that I almost stop breathing. whenever that happens I just take deep breaths, concentrate on breathing normally, and no problem. apparently when I eat too much pot (as this was the first time I'd done so) my reaction to this is to kick it into overdrive and completely freak out.

basically for the next two hours I was walking around the apartment half trying to calm myself down, half convinced that I was going to have to go to the hospital. I was hallucinating wildly, hearing weird voices, and at one time I caught myself biting my own tongue. I'm pretty sure I was legally insane for a short period of time. it was, in short, terrifying.

April, who was sitting on the couch like a stoned bump on a log the whole time, suggested I take a shower or try to sleep but I was convinced I would drown or stop breathing if I did either of those. so I kept pacing, then sitting, then pacing, then sitting, relaxing, then spazing, relaxing, then spazing. OHHH it was a fun night, my friends.

I had eaten my first brownie at 6:30. it wasn't until almost midnight that I felt calm enough to let myself go to bed.

the next morning, Wednesday, I woke up with my alarm feeling groggy but ok. so I got into the shower to get ready for work. it was when I noticed that I was REALLY enjoying the shower that I thought maybe I would have to skip work. and then, while drying my face, the thought, "my towel is soooo soft!" ran through my head and my groggy self decided that it was time I came down with a case of fake gastrointestinal distress. so I left all the requisite voicemails and returned to bed after informing April I wasn't going anywhere. I think that I felt totally back to normal around 8pm that night. the moral of this story is, never eat two pot brownies before the first one has a chance to kick in. and even then, make sure it's a tiny one. or just don't eat it at all. damn my foolishness.

end stupid damage number 1.

damage number 2 occurred on Friday at a beach party for my department at work. the beach was windy, grey, and chilly when we arrived there just after noon. I, dressed in a black tank top and green army shorts, was very cold. and then the sun came out a while later while we ate our picnic lunch. it was really nice because with the breeze and the cool air I could actually enjoy the sun, instead of running away from it in sweaty terror.

after lunch, some of my coworkers decided to play a little volleyball. and that's when the trouble started. I joined in, and must've played for at least 30-45 minutes. someone mentioned that my arms looked red from the sun, but I concluded it was my normal color since I'd had a little redness from my week at home (I'm a bit freckly and fair-skinned, so a slight reddish color can sometimes be the norm).

after volleyball I sat with my legs in the sun talking to Amy and just lollygagging until I decided it was time to get out of the sun and into the shade. I left the beach party around 4, went home, laid on the couch, and napped for a while (that sun sure does plum tucker me out!).

when I woke up and first went to the bathroom, my eyes bugged because I had somehow morphed into a literal redskin. normally I'm extremely cautious about exposure to the sun, so my overexposed arms, legs, and face were a bright crimson and were just becoming painful to the touch by dint of this foolishness. a trip to CVS later, I was slathered in aloe and lanocaine and was finding creative ways to be able to sit comfortably.

the rest of my weekend involved me, half-dressed, not going anywhere, alternately basting myself in the aforementioned aloe and lanocaine and moisturizer, taking naps in short bursts whenever I could doze off, wincing crazily whenever the air moved past my bare skin, and popping painkillers. oh how stupid I felt. oh how stupid I looked.

fortunately by this morning my shoulders (one of the most scorched parts) had healed enough to be able to support fabric without sending shockwaves of pain through my body. so here I am at work, toasty and pink, getting ready for the "oohhh we told you you looked red!" comments. harumph.

I want to try to write in here more frequently again. I guess I just got lazy or disinterested for a while. who knows? these next couple weeks are going to be so crazy as I try to wrap things up in Chicago before my move to Cincinnati. I'm telling my boss about the move today, so that will be weird and awkward. I'm a little nervous, but oh well. and then I'll need to find a new job and I'll have to start packing and AHHHHH!!! it's going to be September before I know it.