I had three really weird encounters yesterday that went from kind of weird to super-weird to just plain weird.

the first occurred while I was walking to the museum for my last day of volunteering. I was waiting to cross the street when I heard a male voice behind me say, "I like your skirt." I turned to see a group of 4 or 5 high school students, looked up at the young man who'd made the statement and said cautiously, "thanks." after I turned back around, still waiting for the light to change, he added, "it's really cute." I turned back around briefly and gave him a polite, "thank you." two beats later, a female companion of his piped up with, "I like your haircut." so I half-turned around again and laughed, "thanks..." and crossed the street with the changing light as the group of high school kids chuckled at each other behind me. so that was slightly odd.

then last night after going out to dinner with Megan and April, the three of us went out for a drink. it was to be karaoke night at the bar we chose, and we agreed to stay for only one or two drinks since last time we were there for karaoke (accidentally), it blew. fortunately we had about 90 minutes of buffer time before the karaoke began.

so we had some drinks, blah blah blah, then the karaoke people started setting up. and then, out of nowhere came a woman in her mid-forties, dressed in a pleasant outfit that would be suitable for the office or for church. April and Megan and I were sitting close together at the bar, and this woman came up all of a sudden and put her arms around the three of us. she half-yelled "HOW ARE YOU LADIES DOIN' TONIGHT??" we were like, "hey...fine..." she yelled back, "are you havin' FUN?!?" we answered tentatively, "uh huh..." and then she asked, seriously, "you got to come out and have fun tonight!! you gonna grab some buns tonight?!? you gotta grab those buns!!!" I answered, "uh...not yet, heh heh..." and Megan added, "yup, havin' fun, grabbin' buns."

so then the woman starts laughing like crazy, telling us how fun we were, how great we were, etc. and then she asked us if we were going to sing karaoke and we were like, "uh...maybe," and she just laughed and laughed and said we had to get up there and do our thing, shake it, and on and on and on...

then, she abruptly stuck out her hand to me and yelled, "I'M LIZA!" I shook her hand and lied, "Rachel." and then Megan and April gave their real names.

immediately after that she took notice of my dimples. focusing all her energy on me, she drawled, "you got some big dimples there, girl! wow, those are great! look at those!" and in went her fingernail. she just stuck her finger right on in the dimple of my right cheek and kept it there and kept it there while going on about how great they were and how nice they were and I just sat there and laughed nervously the whole time, trying to respond to her crazy-ass questions. then when she decided she'd had enough dimple action, she ran her hand down my arm, took my hand, laughing all the while, grabbed Megan's hand, shook our hands up and down, laughing laughing, and then kissed my hand. I was like, "hahahaha CRAZY!!!!" and then eventually she moved on.

shortly thereafter the karaoke started. the first performer came onstage and Liza stood at the bar, paging through the karaoke songbook and singing along at the top of her lungs, gospel-style. I noticed some guy was touching her back and guessed that was her husband, since she had a wedding ring on her left hand. then the announcer said that up next was Liza. so up went Liza and she had a good singing voice, actually, but during a break in the song she really muddied the performance with her audience patter: "how y'all doin' tonight? havin' fun? y'all are dead out there. it's all about havin' fun, grabbin' buns!!! YEAH!!!!" and then she continued the song.

on the way back to her seat, Liza stopped back at us. she clapped her arms around the three of us again, asked us if we were "havin' fun," and went on and on and on once again. keep in mind she was approximately six inches away from my face the entire time. then she tweaked my dimple again and smiled and for that horrifying ten second period I thought for sure she was going to kiss me on the mouth. it was sooooooo uncomfortable.

but then, in a change no one could have predicted, she turned her attention to Megan, got in really close to tell her how great we were, and then slowly bent down and kissed Megan's neck. just kissed her, right on the neck. I started laughing like crazy and then Liza moved on to April, grabbed her around the arms, laughing all the time, said something about how great we were, and lazily let her hands run down April's arms, casually brushing one of April's boobs on the way down.

after Liza walked away, happy as a clam, I said to April and Megan, "we're leaving." we'd all been violated by Liza by this point and I couldn't take it any longer. I can't for certain say what was causing the crazies in Liza. I didn't smell a lick of alcohol on her breath, for example. so it must've been crack. or a heady combination of crack, ecstacy, straight coke, whippets, and God knows what else. but HO BOY was it crazy. and I cannot express the pure discomfort I felt.

so the last weird incident of the night occurred at bar number 2. while there, a drunk old man came up to our table to tell us we were the prettiest ladies in the bar and then apologized for being "so old and drunk," after which he admitted, "I must be a knucklehead." he sure did hang around for a long time too! after a half-assed attempt at stealing Megan's pack of cigarettes and then falsely promising her $200 for just one cigarette and then downing his shot of straight brown liquor, the drunk man stumbled away. slightly depressed by this display, we downed our beers and decided to head home.

so yeah, yesterday was just full of weirdness. but I guess that happens sometimes.