it is now officially the time of year when it's so stiflingly hot outside that I don't want to ever be in the open air. I really envy those who don't pour down sweat just standing still in heat like this. somehow their internal cooling system is more sophisticated than my own, which just seems to go into an insane panic when the mercury rises above 80.

this weekend has involved some show-going, some eating, some drinking, and more lounging than I care to mention.

Friday night April and I went for a drink with Jim and Bill. I haven't seen Bill since New Year's Eve and yet we still had nothing to talk about. he's a really strange bird, but I'm slightly obsessed with finding out what goes on in his head. he rarely speaks unless spoken to, and only then if he's asked a direct question. he lives with his parents in a wealthy suburb of the city and doesn't work at all. he got his bachelor's degree in December and since then has stopped all real work apart from writing music, he says. Jim has told me he's depressed, which is no surprise to me. but I still thought it was strange that after six months of no contact had elapsed, he still had nothing to say.

I'm finding that I'm feeling sad about a lot of things lately. this happens maybe once every month, once every other month and I really get down on myself for a variety of factors: lack of close friends in this city, lack of love, lack of money, lack of summer clothes that still fit me well...it's a real pisser. but then everyone has his or her own problems and it's just something that's par for the course and must be sussed out.

oooo, a cop just went into the porno store. must watch...oh, he just came back out. now he's talking to a dishevled man, and now he's getting into his car...and driving away. bummer.

I think I'll have a smoke now.